he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need water and some morals
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
