I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
