I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
