Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
