Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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