absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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