Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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