It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
