Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
