I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize