soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
