did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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