i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
