I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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