you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had sex on a roof
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
