Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
