You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
