We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
