Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
