All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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