I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
there is glitter all over my balls
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