I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
