She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
