I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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