I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
