Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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