There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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