if you like me you must not know who I am
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
