we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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