just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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