Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
