I feel like abortions should bother me more
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
