Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
