doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
