Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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