Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My pussy is not your playground.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
