Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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