Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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