3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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