i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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