I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
