I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
