Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
is wine microwaveable?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
