the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
