Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize