You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
