He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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