I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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