Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
