Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wear drunk well.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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