# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Enjoy the penises
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
