I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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