I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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