Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
