Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
