I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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