if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
