this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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