i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
