I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
