when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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