In the future we'll all be gay
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
