i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize