My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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